The Little Things

Wise husbands and wives will take time to practice small acts of touching: Holding hands in a walk through the mall, stopping to rub your mate's shoulders for a moment, taking the time to gently hold your spouse at the door on your way out. These small but important acts can work like 'superbloom' to a plant and green out a relationship

Gentleness

Gentleness (a willingness to decrease our lectures and increase our tender expressions of love) is a key to marital growth. Tenderness acts like a firebreak to an advancing, angry forest fire

Admire your hubby

A man will do almost anything to gain the admiration of others. The most important person from whom he wants it is his wife. Some women think that because their husbands are admired by others in their professions, they don't need it from their wives. That's a serious mistake

Anger, Fear, Lust

Anger, hurt feelings, fear, and lust can actually help us develop a closer, more vital relationship with Jesus by serving as warning signals

anger

We may not be able to keep anger from cropping up as an instantaneous and instinctive reaction to some pain or problem, but we can make a decision to keep it from staying in our lives and poisoning our attitudes or the attitudes of our loved ones

Channel of God's Love

Become a channel of God's love to your husband. Jesus calls on you to love God with your whole heart and your neighbor (especially your husband) as you do yourself (see Matthew 22:37-40).

No Offense

How do you honestly tell the one you love about something you find displeasing or aggravating without prompting that familiar defensive stare or indifferent shrug? You can help your mate become more sensitive to the problem by using a word picture rather than direct confrontation. Use examples that interest him or her, such as hobbies, everyday objects, or imaginary stories

admit self centeredness

Probably the most important thing that negative emotions reveal is our own self-centeredness. We need to admit our level of self-centeredness, because out of such an admission comes the freedom to refocus our expectations away from God's creation and onto God Himself.

Fear, Worry

Whenever I feel fear or worry, I thank the Lord for the feeling, then test the following six reasons until I understand the source: the future, my reputation, money, possessions, time, or health. After that, I submit the concern to Him

No Lecturing

Your goal should be to become a genuine, loving, and tender husband who does not lecture. Lectures during stressful times only create more stress

Satisfaction

Many husbands and wives put their hopes for fulfillment in people or in places, whether homes or vacation spots. To those thirsting for fulfillment, these things look like a quenching pool of water. Yet once they reach them, they find only the sand of a mirage. Only Christ gives everlasting satisfaction

Men want (need) admiration

Many men will do almost anything to gain the admiration of others. They will literally search for someone to love and respect them. Make sure that someone is you, their wife, and not someone else

Need proof of change

Wives need consistent proof of change over a period of time in at least three areas before they will believe their husband's commitment: careful listening without justification or argument, quickness to admit error, and patience with her doubts

God's Will

God's best and highest will is for us to love (value) Him with all our hearts, and to love (value) others as ourselves. Do you realize you have everything you need to fulfill God's will and experience His best in your life?

Faith - Trials

We'll catch the true meaning of Christ's teaching on faith if we pay attention to how He helped distraught people through their trials. Many of us make the mistake of forgetting that Jesus promises to produce maturity, righteousness, and love by letting us go through trials

nurture

Gardener--nurturer--has a responsibility not only to find out what's wrong with a plant, but also to do whatever is necessary to nurse it back to health. In Ephesians 5:21-33, we see this picture as a role of the husband

Temperaments

Clearly understanding our God-given temperaments brings to light common causes of family disharmony, provides handles for resolving long-standing friction in the home, dramatically increases our feelings of value for our loved ones and friends, and gives additional reasons to honor God

Not romance alone

A marriage can't be sustained with romance alone. But added to security, meaningful communication, and meaningful touch, it can be a tremendous source of energy and growth.

Open to Correction

Security means we're fully committed to the truth and make a decision daily to be open to correction.

We build security into our relationship each time we speak the truth, go out of our way to encourage our spouse, listen without lecturing, or give him or her a gentle hug

Language of the Heart

If a man is to be truly effective in his relationships both at home and at work, he needs to develop the ability to speak the 'language of the heart' (facts and feelings). Right there under the same roof is a woman who can help him learn that skill.