Quote Room

2009-07-31T10:53:00.001-07:00

Wives need consistent proof of change over a period of time in at least three areas before they will believe their husband's commitment: careful listening without justification or argument, quickness to admit error, and patience with her doubts

Small Acts of Touching

2009-07-28T09:21:00.001-07:00

Wise husbands and wives will take time to practice small acts of touching: Holding hands in a walk through the mall, stopping to rub your mate's shoulders for a moment, taking the time to gently hold your spouse at the door on your way out. These small but important acts can work like 'superbloom' to a plant and green out a relationship

Gardener

2009-07-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

A gardener--nurturer--has a responsibility not only to find out what's wrong with a plant, but also to do whatever is necessary to nurse it back to health. In Ephesians 5:21-33, we see this picture as a role of the husband

temperaments

2009-07-15T11:04:00.001-07:00

Clearly understanding our God-given temperaments brings to light common causes of family disharmony, provides handles for resolving long-standing friction in the home, dramatically increases our feelings of value for our loved ones and friends, and gives additional reasons to honor God

Gentleness

2009-07-03T13:26:00.001-07:00

Gentleness (a willingness to decrease our lectures and increase our tender expressions of love) is a key to marital growth. Tenderness acts like a firebreak to an advancing, angry forest fire

Protection

2009-06-18T12:55:00.001-07:00

A woman loves to build a lasting relationship with a man who cares about her enough to let her lean on him when she needs comfort. She needs a man who will understand her fears and limitations so that he can protect her.

Closed spirit

2009-06-18T12:33:00.001-07:00

The buildup of unresolved anger results in a closed spirit. Selfish anger is the negative emotion we feel when a person or situation has failed to meet our needs, blocked our goals, or fallen short of our expectations. If you are constantly dishonoring your spouse for one reason or another, that will usually close his or her spirit

Communication

2009-06-10T18:50:00.000-07:00

Communication is the single most effective way to deepen intimacy in any relationship, whether it's with your mate, family, friends, or on the job. Just as food is essential to a healthy body, intimate communication is essential to a healthy relationship

Conflict

2009-06-08T12:18:00.001-07:00

Usually, by being soft, genuinely seeking to understand what happened, admitting when we're wrong, and specifically asking for forgiveness, we can see anger begin to drain away quickly in another

what a man needs

2009-06-05T11:25:00.001-07:00

Every man needs to know that someone, somewhere in the world, cares about him. He needs to feel warm, friendly acceptance from a committed, intimate friend who will be devoted to him no matter what he does. In other words, just like you, your husband needs the security of genuine love

Worry

2009-06-04T10:52:00.001-07:00

Whenever I feel fear or worry, I thank the Lord for the feeling, then test the following six reasons until I understand the source: the future, my reputation, money, possessions, time, or health. After that, I submit the concern to Him.

satisfaction

2009-05-28T09:53:00.001-07:00

Many husbands and wives put their hopes for fulfillment in people or in places, whether homes or vacation spots. To those thirsting for fulfillment, these things look like a quenching pool of water. Yet once they reach them, they find only the sand of a mirage. Only Christ gives everlasting satisfaction

No Lecturing

2009-05-28T09:45:00.001-07:00

Your goal should be to become a genuine, loving, and tender husband who does not lecture. Lectures during stressful times only create more stress

Trials

2009-05-25T16:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the treasure is coated with corrosion, but if we do some scraping, we begin to see its value. Thanksgiving expresses our faith that God can, indeed, bring treasures out of trials, and faith adds muscle to the scraping process, even in the worst of trials

Discipline

2009-05-20T08:36:00.001-07:00

The most insecure people are those who can't distance themselves from their loved ones enough to discipline them. Loving discipline may put a temporary emotional distance between people, but if we balance that hard-side correction with softness, we won't lose love. If anything, we'll enrich it

Have all you need

2009-05-15T12:29:00.000-07:00

God's best and highest will is for us to love (value) Him with all our hearts, and to love (value) others as ourselves. Do you realize you have everything you need to fulfill God's will and experience His best in your life?

The Little Things

2009-05-13T10:19:00.001-07:00

personal God

2009-05-05T10:12:00.001-07:00

God truly modeled the principles of touching when Jesus walked the back trails and highways of planet earth. No longer could God be thought of as some distant, unconcerned deity in a far corner of infinity. He came, robed in warm, human flesh. And while He walked among us, He reached out His hands

Faith - Trials

2009-05-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

We'll catch the true meaning of Christ's teaching on faith if we pay attention to how He helped distraught people through their trials. Many of us make the mistake of forgetting that Jesus promises to produce maturity, righteousness, and love by letting us go through trials

Treasuring

2009-04-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

Treasuring is an attitude we carry in our hearts, a conviction we hold deep down inside. It's one big decision that plays itself out in 10,000 little decisions every day of our lives. This one giant choice to treasure your husband lights up a home like nothing else

Controling Tongue

2009-04-25T13:13:00.001-07:00

God's grace is power in us to control our tongue, even in heated discussions with a spouse, but He only gives grace to the humble. If we humble ourselves in His presence, recognizing our complete dependence on Him, He will exalt us

security

2009-04-22T04:07:00.001-07:00

Security means we're fully committed to the truth and make a decision daily to be open to correction. We build security into our relationship each time we speak the truth, go out of our way to encourage our spouse, listen without lecturing, or give him or her a gentle hug

Communication

2009-04-21T05:05:00.000-07:00

A husband and wife need to establish a routine pattern of meaningful communication--times of sharing feelings, hopes, dreams, and fears. 'Weather report' comments like 'How's it going?' 'How was the traffic today?' and other safe questions aren't enough. Every day, spouses need to add the water of well-spoken words to keep their relationship strong and healthy

Gentleness

2009-04-20T17:17:00.000-07:00

Gentleness (a willingness to decrease our lectures and increase our tender expressions of love) is a key to marital growth. Tenderness acts like a firebreak to an advancing, angry forest fire

When Hubby is down

2009-03-27T10:16:00.001-07:00

When your husband is down, don't react with disgust as though he had lost his masculinity. Maintain the attitude that he's important

Admire your hubby

2009-03-23T11:21:00.001-07:00

A man will do almost anything to gain the admiration of others. The most important person from whom he wants it is his wife. Some women think that because their husbands are admired by others in their professions, they don't need it from their wives. That's a serious mistake

Accept your hubby

2009-03-20T10:44:00.001-07:00

Let your husband know you're proud of him and you accept him even if you don't completely agree with the decisions he makes and the direction he's going.

Unresolved anger

2009-03-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

Marriage

2009-03-17T11:14:00.000-07:00

If a man truly wants his wife to grow and the marriage to be strengthened, he should be the example of what he wants to see in her before saying anything to her

Anger, Fear, Lust

2009-03-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

Anger, hurt feelings, fear, and lust can actually help us develop a closer, more vital relationship with Jesus by serving as warning signals

Passion is a spring

2009-03-09T10:52:00.000-07:00

Passion, though a bad regulator, is a powerful spring

Passion, Energy

2009-03-08T10:52:00.000-07:00

With out passion you dont have energy, with out energy you have nothing

without passion

2009-03-07T10:51:00.000-08:00

Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark

Chase passion

2009-03-06T10:51:00.000-08:00

Chase your passion, not your pension

Passion

2009-03-05T10:54:00.001-08:00

You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion.

Passion

2009-03-05T10:50:00.000-08:00

One person with passion is better than forty people merely interested

anger

2009-02-26T04:49:00.001-08:00

We may not be able to keep anger from cropping up as an instantaneous and instinctive reaction to some pain or problem, but we can make a decision to keep it from staying in our lives and poisoning our attitudes or the attitudes of our loved ones

Channel of God's Love

2009-02-26T03:52:00.000-08:00

Become a channel of God's love to your husband. Jesus calls on you to love God with your whole heart and your neighbor (especially your husband) as you do yourself (see Matthew 22:37-40).

No Offense

2009-02-25T18:10:00.000-08:00

How do you honestly tell the one you love about something you find displeasing or aggravating without prompting that familiar defensive stare or indifferent shrug? You can help your mate become more sensitive to the problem by using a word picture rather than direct confrontation. Use examples that interest him or her, such as hobbies, everyday objects, or imaginary stories

admit self centeredness

2009-02-21T18:20:00.001-08:00

Probably the most important thing that negative emotions reveal is our own self-centeredness. We need to admit our level of self-centeredness, because out of such an admission comes the freedom to refocus our expectations away from God's creation and onto God Himself.

Fear, Worry

2009-02-19T20:03:00.001-08:00

seeds

2009-02-19T18:11:00.001-08:00

The seed you sow today will not produce crop till tomorrow. For this reason, your identity does not lie in your current results. This is not who you are. Your current results are who you were.
— James A. Ray

No Lecturing

2009-02-12T18:16:00.001-08:00

Your goal should be to become a genuine, loving, and tender husband who does not lecture. Lectures during stressful times only create more stress

Satisfaction

2009-02-11T08:08:00.001-08:00

Men want (need) admiration

2009-02-02T16:25:00.001-08:00

Many men will do almost anything to gain the admiration of others. They will literally search for someone to love and respect them. Make sure that someone is you, their wife, and not someone else

Need proof of change

2009-01-30T17:55:00.000-08:00

God's Will

2009-01-29T12:47:00.001-08:00

Strengths Weaknesses

2009-01-26T11:01:00.001-08:00

There's no way to overcome our weaknesses without knowing our strengths. Why? Almost without exception, our weaknesses are a reflection of our strengths being pushed to an extreme

Love

2009-01-20T05:37:00.000-08:00

“Loving all of it even while he had to hate some of it because he knows now that you don’t love because: you love despite; not for the virtues, but despite the faults.” -William Faulkner

Faith - Trials

2009-01-19T17:10:00.001-08:00

nurture

2009-01-16T10:44:00.000-08:00

Gardener--nurturer--has a responsibility not only to find out what's wrong with a plant, but also to do whatever is necessary to nurse it back to health. In Ephesians 5:21-33, we see this picture as a role of the husband

Temperaments

2009-01-15T16:56:00.001-08:00

Not romance alone

2009-01-15T16:45:00.000-08:00

A marriage can't be sustained with romance alone. But added to security, meaningful communication, and meaningful touch, it can be a tremendous source of energy and growth.

God's grace

2009-01-08T20:13:00.000-08:00

Open to Correction

2009-01-06T17:31:00.000-08:00

Security means we're fully committed to the truth and make a decision daily to be open to correction.

We build security into our relationship each time we speak the truth, go out of our way to encourage our spouse, listen without lecturing, or give him or her a gentle hug

Language of the Heart

2009-01-02T04:15:00.000-08:00

If a man is to be truly effective in his relationships both at home and at work, he needs to develop the ability to speak the 'language of the heart' (facts and feelings). Right there under the same roof is a woman who can help him learn that skill.

Gentleness

2009-01-02T04:06:00.001-08:00

Gentleness (a willingness to decrease our lectures and increase our tender expressions of love) is a key to marital growth. Tenderness acts like a firebreak to an advancing, angry forest fire

No hubby is perfect

2008-12-31T03:57:00.000-08:00

No husband will make perfect decisions or be without fault. But using a variety of ways to express genuine appreciation or admiration for your mate can keep him from looking to someone else to meet that need.

Finding Treasure in Trials

2008-12-29T10:44:00.000-08:00

Finding Treasures in Trials...

Steps involved in treasure hunting:

1. Recognize the pain you've experienced-don't deny the anger and hurt.

2. When it's called for, go through a grieving period.

3. During the midst of a trial, hang on to the hand of God. Concentrate on keeping your eyes and expectations focused on Him.

4. Wait expectantly on the Lord, like a child on Christmas morning, to bring to light the gold, blessing, or benefits that come from the trials you're experiencing.

5. Use the extra sensitivity, compassion, endurance, or wisdom you've gained from a trial to help others."

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Gender Differences

2008-12-23T08:00:00.000-08:00

As a wife, you need to understand these differences between men and women: By nature, a woman tends to relate to others on a more personal level, while a man tends to be more challenge-and-conquer oriented....A woman finds much of her identity through her relationships, while a man usually finds his identity through his accomplishments....A woman is usually much more in touch with her emotions, but a man is primarily concerned with the 'facts.'...The average woman speaks nearly 25,000 words a day, while the average man speaks only around 12,500!

Accept Correction

2008-12-22T05:42:00.001-08:00

When a woman sees her husband's willingness to accept correction-a mark of someone who wants to gain wisdom-she's more willing to follow his leadership in the home because she values him more highly.

emotions

2008-12-20T10:38:00.000-08:00

When Christ is in control, our negative emotions are replaced by an inner contentment and love that come only from Him.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Arguments

2008-12-17T04:08:00.001-08:00

When you boil down a lot of destructive arguments, what you often find is a simple lack of facts. The conflicts begin when an individual sees something that bothers him and then draws a conclusion. But what he thinks he sees may not be true at all. There's nothing new about this advice. James, the Lord's brother, wrote, "My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19, NIV).

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Keeping Alive Romance and Security

2008-11-05T17:48:00.000-08:00

Remaining tender during a trial is one of the most powerful ways to build an intimate relationship (James 1:19-20).

Smalley

Conflict

2008-11-03T09:30:00.001-08:00

As we attempt to open our spouse's spirit, our body language, muscles, facial expressions, and tone of voice must become soft, gentle, and caring. By doing this, we're saying that he or she is valuable, that we know something is wrong, and that we are open to listen.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Trust God

2008-10-31T10:16:00.001-07:00

Trust God to meet all your needs. This will allow you to take the focus off your own needs. Then refocus your efforts on meeting your spouse's needs, helping him or her in areas of struggle.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Focus in on Positive

2008-10-30T10:13:00.001-07:00

How quick we are to pick out the negative while ignoring five equally obvious positives! Unless we're careful, our body language and facial expressions will tend to minimize our praise while maximizing our criticisms. Make it your goal to praise your mate for something at least once each day.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Honoring Your Husband

2008-10-29T17:16:00.000-07:00

Men need to kow their advice is valuable.

You welcome your husband's advice by...

- putting aside all other interests and giving him your full attention.
- focusing your eyes on him as he speaks.
- pointing out positive or helpful aspects of his advice.
- letting him have the floor until he has fully expressed his opinion.
- thanking him for the time he spent offering his advice.

From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Honoring Your Husband

2008-10-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

Avoid being 'hypersensitive' to every frown or smile from your husband. At all costs, put away your anger if your husband doesn't follow through on developing the type of relationship you desire. Focus on what you have, not on what you don't have.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango by Gary and Norma Smalley

Anger , Forgiveness

2008-10-16T06:49:00.000-07:00

Like few other emotions, anger restricts and binds us, tying us in eternal knots. Forgiveness, on the other hand, sets us free from those bonds, untying the knots that hold us captive. The Lord Jesus said, "Forgive, and you will be forgiven" (Luke 6:37, NIV).

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Communication

2008-10-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

We can minister words of encouragement or plant seeds of praise that can grow into might trees--pillars that uphold an entire life.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

What goes in

2008-10-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

WE are in control of what goes into our bodies

Anger

2008-10-12T04:01:00.000-07:00

Resolving Conflict and Dealing with Anger... Anger creates distance, and distance destroys relationships. It causes husbands and wives and parents and children to drift away from each other. Home becomes little more than a dormitory with hostile roommates.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Never too late

2008-10-11T18:41:00.000-07:00

It's never too late to be what you might have been

Life is like Photography

2008-10-10T18:40:00.000-07:00

Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop

Bend in the Road

2008-10-09T18:38:00.000-07:00

A bend in the road is not the end of the road unless you fail to make the turn

Obstacles

2008-10-08T18:35:00.000-07:00

Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

-Michael Jordan

Quality

2008-10-07T18:34:00.000-07:00

People may forget how fast you did a job, but they will remember how well you did it.

Reputation, Character

2008-10-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

Reputation is what you are perceived to be. Character is what you are.

-John Wooden

Road To Success

2008-10-05T18:32:00.000-07:00

The road to success runs up hill, so don't expect to break any speed records

Mistakes

2008-10-04T18:31:00.000-07:00

If you don't learn from your mistakes, there is no point in making them

Honoring Your Husband

2008-10-03T09:20:00.001-07:00

Every man has tremendous value. It's hidden at times, perhaps, but always there - a worth based on the incredible impact he has on every member of the family through his everyday actions and attitudes. Encourage him to remember how important he is and to make that impact positive and affirming.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Challenges, Rewards

2008-10-02T18:29:00.000-07:00

The hardest challenges result in the greatest rewards

GrindStone

2008-10-01T18:28:00.000-07:00

Life is a grindstone, whether it grinds you down or polishes you up, depends on what you are made of

Aim for Progress

2008-09-30T18:27:00.000-07:00

Aim for progress, not perfection

What you want most

2008-09-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

Don't give up what you want MOST for what you want right now.

Right Direction

2008-09-28T18:25:00.000-07:00

If you're headed in the right direction, each step, no matter how small, is getting you closer to your goal

Speak Only Positive

2008-09-27T18:24:00.000-07:00

Speak only positive about everything & everybody

Our Deepest Fear

2008-09-26T18:22:00.000-07:00

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

Make Me A Blessing

2008-09-25T18:21:00.000-07:00

Lord, make me a blessing to somebody today!

Mediocre Minds

2008-09-24T18:20:00.000-07:00

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds
- Albert Einstein

Husband's Conscience

2008-09-24T11:25:00.001-07:00

Refrain from confronting your husband's deficiencies in anger. A man has a tendency to fight his conscience, and if you become his conscience, he'll either fight you or flee from you. Whichever route he takes, you've failed in your desire to spend more time with him.

- From "It Takes Two to Tango" by Gary and Norma Smalley

Problems

2008-09-23T18:19:00.000-07:00

How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself ---- so always think positively
- Norman Vincent Peale

Help Others

2008-09-22T18:17:00.000-07:00

Help other people cope with their problems and your own will be easier to cope with
- Norman Vincent Peale

Flexible

2008-09-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

Flexible people don't get bent out of shape

Roses & Thorns

2008-09-20T18:15:00.000-07:00

Some people think its unfair for God to put thorns on roses.... others praise Him for putting roses on thorns

Good Life

2008-09-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

The good life starts when you stop lusting after a better one

Forgive

2008-09-18T18:12:00.000-07:00

He who cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass

Forgiveness

2008-09-17T18:11:00.000-07:00

Forgiveness is the ability to give away love in the most difficult of circumstances

Lonely

2008-09-16T18:09:00.000-07:00

People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges